When our son was 13 months old, a comment online hit my like a ton of bricks, and it dawned on me that some of his behavior was not quite on track. So I got online, and i started researching.
You see, until about 11 months, he was very advanced in every way. He rolled over at 8 days old, he sat up at 12 weeks, he said momma at 5 months, immediately followed by dadda the next week, and he used them appropriately. He was bright, and social and never stopped smiling.
But when he was 11 months old, and started walking, he stopped talking. He never started again. 16 months later, and despite knowing about 30 words, he can't use them to communicate with us. He is trying so hard, he is the single hardest working person that I have ever seen in my life. He is making amazing strides daily, but verbalization still hasn't come back.
Affection has though. And his ability to recognize what is being asked of him has.
See, after my hours (days) or research, and an online MCHAT test, it was clear to me, that he was exhibiting the early signs of Autism Spectrum Disorder.
Not a single person believed me, not even the pediatrician we talked to. But I couldn't take a chance. So we got him evaluated, and he was far enough behind to start therapy immediately, and we did. Then we moved, got him reevaluated, and increased his therapy, and got on the wait list at the Seattle Children's Hospital Autism Center for official diagnostic evaluation. In the seven months that we waited for his name to come up, we went to therapy 3 days a week, that is still our schedule, but we're about to add 12 or so hours of ABA into the mix, so that every weekday he will be seeing one of his therapists.
It turns out, that I was right. Even then, even in the very beginning, when it wasn't so pronounced, and his speech delay could have easily just been that, my gut told me it wasn't. I've known who my son is for a long time. So as others came around and recognized the signs, it wasn't some big shocking thing for me. Because I knew, and because I trusted that instinct, my son has been receiving consistent therapy this entire time, and he stands the best possible chance at leading a fulfilling, happy, incredible life, which is the very least that he deserves, and the very least that I owe him.
My point here is this. If you have concerns? Do not listen to people telling you to "wait and see". Just don't, it is in no way worth the risk. Say you go in, and you get evaluated because your kiddo is a little behind, and they prescribe therapy. You go a couple months, and it turns out, Little Billy is perfectly normal, and was just focused on other areas. What did you lose? Nothing. Your kid got some extra, and early education, and socialization that will benefit him for the rest of his life.
Alternatively, say you wait. 6 months, maybe a year, and Little Billy still isn't talking, but instead of having already been in therapy, you're just getting the ball rolling now, and he missed valuable months of neural plasticity that therapy could have taken such advantage of.
The human brain before 5 years old, is like a fluid, living thing. It is malleable, teachable, it soaks up information like a sponge, and the earlier invention is sought, the better the brain responds to the treatment.
Now I am not trying to make anyone feel bad, that isn't what this is about. Sometimes the signs are so subtle, that you just don't notice, and that is okay. If you have no idea what to be looking for, if it just hasn't been on your radar, if it just wasn't even noticeable at first, there is not a thing you could have done about that. It is not your fault, you are doing the best that you can. You are a great parent, and never ever forget that.
My problem is the people, doctors in particular that are constantly telling people who are worried about their children, to just wait. Wait and see.
With everything we have learned in just the last 20 years, how could any doctor suggest that? By doing that you teach them not to trust themselves. You make them feel crazy, and irrational, and they go home and they wonder about their ability to parent. That helps, not a single god damned person, let alone their children. If a parent comes you, Dr. Who-the-Fuck-Ever and they tell you, "Hey, my baby isn't talking anymore, would like to get him evaluated", and you tell them "Oh I am sure it's nothing, i'm not concerned, why don't we wait and see?" Exactly who do you think you are serving? Because in one fell swoop you have made her feel invalidated and weak, and you have risked being wrong about your patient. You know, the tiny toddler who's childhood you might have just fucking ruined by not making sure he got the services he needed immediately.
Okay, so that last bit got ranty, but my point stand. Parent's? Can you hear me? You know your baby. Better than anyone else in the world. Better than her pediatrician, or your friends, better than your family, or any number of people you talk to online. You know. You know that little angel, and if your gut is telling that something is off, you trust yourself. You owe it to yourself to have faith in your abilities, and you owe it to your kiddo to be a parent with confidence. No one ever suffered from extra education.
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